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<title>I don’t smoke (but it’s okay that you do) by rinnenotsubasa</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26679691">I don’t smoke (but it’s okay that you do)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/pseuds/rinnenotsubasa'>rinnenotsubasa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Playlist [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SixTONES (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, Dealing With Loss, M/M, Smoking, Strangers to Lovers, mentions of other sixtones and snow man members, picking up a habit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:56:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26679691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/pseuds/rinnenotsubasa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hokuto wasn’t into cigarettes. But he’d gladly stay by Taiga’s side as the smoke engulfed them both.</p><p> </p><p><a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/4QWno5VXD5LMpoQQlNrJNQ?autoplay=true">Violette Wautier</a> - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j2pc_uOs64">Smoke</a></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kouchi Yugo/Kyomoto Taiga, Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Playlist [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/895056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I don't smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hokuto wasn’t particularly fond of cigarette smoke. He wouldn’t say as far as </span>
  <em>
    <span>hating</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. There were friends and relatives who smoked, but it never crossed his mind to try, and he wouldn’t hold back to glare at someone who smokes around kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Hokuto didn’t know why he followed Taiga out to Jesse’s balcony when Taiga had clearly stated he’s going for a puff. It’s only been what? Two hours? Three? Since Hokuto met the older man here at Jesse’s end-of-exams celebration party. They exchanged greetings and introductions, and yes they did have conversations but it was with the whole gang and it’s mostly Jesse and Shintaro who talked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto arrived at the balcony when Taiga already had the rolled tobacco squeezed between his pale lips, right hand raised in the air to bring a lighter close to the tip. Taiga’s gaze moved to the corner of his eyes as Hokuto approached the railing, but the blond said nothing until he clicked on the lighter with his thumb and took his first puff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was quite a distance between them even when Taiga extended his right hand with a pack of cigarettes on his palm. “Want some?” he offered, tone not exactly dry, but not amiable either. Taiga merely shrugged when Hokuto declined with a simple, “No, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence and smoke filled the air between them, and Hokuto should feel awkward. Strangely, he didn’t. He positioned himself at one end of the balcony so that he could see Taiga from the corner of his eyes while pretending to admire the night cityscape. Jesse’s balcony had an overhead lamp that emitted the kind of light Hokuto deemed unflattering, but at least it allowed him to catch the sight of Taiga. He wondered what Taiga would look like under different lighting, maybe a better lamp, or the ray of morning sunlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them stood there in silence until Taiga finished smoking one roll and went back inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto hadn’t seen Taiga for a whole two weeks after that. He was hoping they crossed paths somehow since they had Jesse as a mutual, and so during those two weeks Hokuto felt disappointment latching in one corner of his ribs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hokuto finally saw Taiga again, the latter already had a roll of cigarette between his lips. It was at a small alley behind the bar Hokuto was supposed to go into. By pure luck Hokuto went there from a different route than what his university friends normally take from the dorm to the bar and ended up here. Hokuto was not much of a prayer, but that night he whispered his thanks to God.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga leaned his back on the wall, just far enough from the bar’s back door so when the door opened he wouldn’t get hit. Hokuto approached him and this time he stood closer, he could reach Taiga’s shoulders if he extended his right arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After exchanging nods as greeting, Taiga asked him, “Not going inside?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto could hear his own brain whirling to make up an excuse and settled on a short and lame “Later. Heard it’s so full.” He couldn’t guess from Taiga’s expressions whether the older man bought his nonsense or not. He’s just grateful that Taiga didn’t question any further and didn’t seem to mind his presence . </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga was somewhat more chatty in their second encounter. Never close to Jesse and Shintaro’s level, but enough to carry a conversation with Hokuto. They ended up staying outside for a good hour until Jesse called Hokuto and bugged him to come inside. Hokuto thought of ignoring his friend but Taiga put out his cigarette, walked out of his way to the dumpster at the other side of the alley and dumped the rolled tobacco before entering the bar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto’s disappointment didn’t last very long. For the rest of the night Taiga stayed fairly close to him and although they’re with a bunch of other people, Hokuto was always blessed with Taiga’s presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jesse asked him if he’s interested in doing this volunteer activity for orphans, Hokuto said yes a little bit too enthusiastically. His motive was not purely altruistic. Jesse had mentioned some names that agreed to join and Taiga was one of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so Hokuto began to spend more time with Taiga, having meetings to plan fun events for the kids, making small gift bags to bring when they visit. They didn’t talk </span>
  <em>
    <span>that much </span>
  </em>
  <span>when they met, not in the way Jesse and Shintaro did, which was understandable because both Taiga and Hokuto weren’t actually the talkative types. But a lot of times they worked side by side and Hokuto thrived in these moments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They worked in various places: a random spot at their campus, in the cafeteria, at Jesse’s place. Today they booked a room at the university’s student center. After a rehearsal for their mini theater show, they worked on the gifts they’re going to bring on their next visit to the orphanage. Taiga sat down next to Hokuto as usual and slowly moved his hands to wrap the gifts. The older man was a little clumsy with his hands and didn’t refuse when Hokuto offered to help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After maybe 30 minutes into the work, Taiga stood up and excused himself to smoke. Hokuto couldn’t help but turn his head up as Taiga straightened his legs, and Taiga caught his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The invitation took Hokuto by surprise, as it was the first time ever. He said yes, of course. So soon enough he was standing on the west side of the building, back leaning to the wall just like Taiga. There was barely any distance between their shoulders, and with this proximity Hokuto was forced to inhale some of the smoke Taiga exhaled. He didn’t mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They easily fall into a conversation and Hokuto’s head was full of Taiga, Taiga, Taiga. He was so captivated that he failed to realize the sky turning dark. The realization was forced into his mind abruptly when his skin registered the coldness of night air. Hokuto involuntarily brought up his palms to rub his own arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed that Taiga noticed and he wordlessly removed his jacket off his torso, cigarette dangling from his lips. The older man gently shoved the jacket into Hokuto’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Hokuto tried to return the jacket. He felt bad seeing Taiga out here only with a half-sleeved shirt. At least Hokuto’s shirt was long-sleeved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re cold” was Taiga’s response. It looked like he really didn’t mind, but Hokuto couldn’t let it pass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why Hokuto lied. “It’s too thin anyway.” That might be a rude thing to say, but Hokuto would rather have Taiga get annoyed at him for a bit rather than Taiga catching a cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto didn’t expect Taiga to pull out the cigarette with his left hand, positioned himself right in front of Hokuto, and said, “Will you feel less cold if I hold you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t clear who leaned in first. And when they met halfway, it wasn’t a hug. The first contact was between their lips, finding each other as if it was meant to be. Taiga’s lips were a bit chapped, but Hokuto loved them. He loved them and the way they captured Hokuto’s own, tender but obviously eager. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga tasted like smoke. Hokuto thought it’s his new favorite flavor.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Let’s go smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Taiga didn’t expect to meet Shota. This eatery where he’s having lunch with Hokuto was quite far from Shota’s hangout places. It was a pleasant surprise. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he missed his old friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shota greeted him like they hadn’t been out of contact for months, and Taiga was grateful for that. That’s why he wanted to agree with Shota’s invitation to share a table. Lucky for him, Hokuto seemed okay with the proposition. And so they sat at one table with Hokuto on Taiga’s left and Shota right across Taiga.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga got another pleasant surprise from the way Hokuto was hitting it off with Shota. There were no strains on Hokuto’s face as he chatted and laughed with Taiga’s friend, and that made Taiga less apprehensive towards Shota’s next invitation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shota said their other friends were also in the area and asked Taiga to meet them. It’s been a long time, too long, since Taiga saw them face to face. Hokuto seemed sincerely happy when Shota invited him too, so Taiga said yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them headed to an apartment building about 10 minutes walk from the eatery. Shota said they’re renting a room there for a “staycation” since it’s too difficult to match their schedules for long trips out of town, especially Abe who’s always so busy. It was empty when they arrived, and their friends came one by one a bit later. Taiga couldn’t stop smiling as he saw his old friends. Hikaru, Fukka, Date, Abe, and Sakuma also mirrored his happiness in their wide grins.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile only faltered a bit as he worried about making Hokuto overwhelmed with the number of new people. Relief filled him when he witnessed Hokuto’s relaxed posture as they sat side by side on a sofa across Abe, Fukka, and Date. Hokuto didn’t even look uncomfortable when Hikaru asked him if he could scoot over a bit, gladly pressing himself closer to Taiga so that Hikaru could have a seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was such a fun moment, Taiga didn’t realize the sky outside had turned dark. He only noticed when Fukka said he needed to watch the 7 PM comedy show on TV and moved to the TV space right nearby. Hikaru and Sakuma were already gone. There’s only Abe and Date sitting on the other sofa, while Shota was sitting on the floor with his arms lying on the low table between the sofas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s when Hokuto turned to Taiga and asked, “You haven’t smoked since before lunch. Are you okay?” Hokuto’s expression of concern warmed Taiga’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The warmth disappeared in a blink when Shota spoke in a confused tone, “You smoke? Since when? It used to be Kouchi--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga knew that Shota didn’t mean any harm. It’s just that Taiga still wasn’t used to talking about Kouchi after the older male was gone from this world. He hadn’t kept in touch with the people who knew Kouchi, so he could live on without mentioning his name. He didn’t know if he was ready.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abe and Date seemed to pick up Taiga’s discomfort and smoothly changed the topic. The pure Shota didn’t even realize it was intentional and easily joined in the new conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga also chimed in. He didn’t dare to turn to his left and see Hokuto. The younger man also shared the conversation as if the previous topic never came up, and Taiga allowed himself to feel relieved for this short moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a bit later when Taiga said goodbye to his old friends and came back to his apartment with Hokuto. The two of them went to change clothes, wash their faces and teeth, have a glass of water, do all the things that were routine for them. It wasn’t a complete silence as they exchanged a few words as they moved. “The toothpaste is almost running out, I’ll take out the new tube,” “How about pancakes for tomorrow?”, “I’ll take the trash out in the morning.” Simple things like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they were finally settled in Taiga’s bed, the anxiety started to creep into Taiga’s chest. A small voice inside his head told him that he should be the one that brings up The Topic, but another voice told him to zip his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While the voices inside Taiga’s head were arguing, Hokuto spoke up and caught Taiga’s attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your yellow lighter… Was it his? That Kouchi guy…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taiga had his eyes facing towards the ceiling when Hokuto said that so he didn’t catch Hokuto’s expression. It was equally impossible to guess Hokuto’s heart from his voice only, as Hokuto’s calm tone was inscrutable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A “yes” was ready to come out of Taiga’s mouth, and yet the word got stuck in his throat, he could only hum his answer. Hokuto’s response was a quiet “I see.” The short reply didn’t allow Taiga to peek into the insides of Hokuto’s heart, so he forced himself to turn his face to the left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto was already looking at Taiga. There was no smile on his face, but there’s no denying the gentleness in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the Hokuto who kindly faced him with his big heart, Taiga decided to not run away this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hokuto nodded without the slightest bit of hesitation. “Whenever you’re ready.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave your thoughts in the comments if there's any. Promise I won't bite.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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